PERSONAL
GROWTH
I was
having an out-of-body experience and almost astral-traveled away
yesterday, so I grounded myself and got centered with the help of my
spirit guides and then the phone rang, and sensing the negative
vibrations, I threw the I-Ching and checked my numerology chart, nearly
having a primal, but my energy was too blocked.
So I
did some bioenergetics and self-parenting, took some flower
essences and ate an organic oat bran ginseng muffin, but my inner child
wasn't feeling nurtured yet. To fix this, I had a Rice Dream Frozen Pie,
which, of course, made me hyper, so I did the relaxation response
technique I had just learned at the Self Healing Angst Tree Defoliating
Center while listening to my subliminal tapes.
But
that left me feeling depersonalized, so I did some polarity work, foot
reflexology, and past life regression, then rebirthed myself, and called
Moon Beam, my body worker, to make an appointment for a Shiatsu-Reike-Rolfing-Feldenkreis-Swedish-Japanese
deep tissue massage. Unfortunately, she flaked out and never returned my
call, so I decided to energize my crystals and do some positive imagery
because all my visualization techniques and affirmations made my space
feel invaded.
So to
get empowered, I got a psychic reading from Mother Heart Love around the
issue of my assertiveness so I could feel my radiance and have some
energy for my psycho calisthenics and inversion swing before my harmonic
brain wave synergy session. This made me more focused for my
actualization seminar, holistic healing class and dream workshop, which
in turn made me clearer for my Gestalt behavioral cognitive
transpersonal Rechian-Jungian-Freudian-Ericksonian session at the hot
springs, but my aura was too weak for my trance channeling group, so I
fasted until noon to recharge my chakras.
At
that point, I sensed my intuition was high and my cycle was focused, so
I turned on my ion generator to open up for my Neural Linguistic
Programming session. But I needed to have my pyramid recharged before my
guided synchronicity meditation, so I got some craniosacral therapy,
which aligned me for the fire walk between my tarot card reading and my
sensory deprivation tank appointment.
But
even after all that, I felt what I truly needed was a meaningful
relationship to mirror myself, so I went to my personal shaman, and then
to my guru, but they were no help, so instead I went to the Intensive
Whole Life Earth Rebirth Cosmic Expo Symposium Workshop to find someone
who really knew what was going on. That didn't help either, so I locked
myself in a calcium coated Orgone Box and meditated until
9PM.
None
of it really worked for me, so I rolled me a big fat doobie, got baked
and drank a six pack of Bud -- and dude . . . did I feel right with the
world !!! |
